Always on Time!

Let me just begin by saying Gods timing is absolutely perfect! 

Today I had my very first day as a teacher in my very own classroom! I had 10 amazing students, so very precious and special in their own way!! It was quite fun being Miss S, knowing that the Lord gave me His strength and grace to work hard through 4 1/2 years of college to be the teacher He has called me to be, even just to rewind to about 3 years ago when my simple prayer was, Lord give me the opportunity to love the unlovable, no matter where it may be!!!  

If I can be honest though, I did not think it would be Ohio or even the US, but you know what?

I am so thankful the Lord but we right where He deemed best, because yes it is hard, challenging, and different, but I have some amazing support and I could not imagine being anywhere else but within the will of God, so because I am in His perfect plan, I could not be happier or more content! 

Through this whole process, Jesus has taught me so much, HE has shown me how to trust in a DEEPER and WIDER way, How to see that all that He is taking me through is a process, a process that I had to fully depend on Him!!!

Just to think.... a little over 3 weeks ago, I wept in the middle of the living room floor, for I did not know where I would live!! 

But today on August 18th I am here to tell you, the Lord had the best place for me to live, a place of peace, fellowship, a place where the spirit of God lives, a Home, all thanks to the body of Christ!!! A home only 20 mins from my school!

God answered so many of my prayers in His perfect timing and way!

So what the enemy meant for Evil or Harm, God meant for His good!! 

With one day down I am so excited for this school year, my prayer and heart is that the Lord would use me for His glory to love each and every student with His grace and love and to show the love of Christ to my staff that they too would want to know Jesus!

Take this life and year ahead Jesus and use it for your Glory, for it all belongs to you!!!

Reminders

This post came from, my blog a year ago right around this time, when I was preparing for Thailand and needed $3,000 to go, which God provided every penny for, but here it is:  "As the Lord continues to ask me to trust Him, He sends little reminders my way to encourage my heart... such as the words from this devotional I came across today:"I want you to be all Mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone--and not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don't be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to Me. I am always before you, beckoning you on--one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving presence." Wow! What a reminder and challenge as I continue to embark on this journey leaning completely on the Lord!"

This was a year ago, but I believe that I needed this REMINDER more now than I did a year ago, don't get me wrong, I needed it then too!!!

But lets just pause for a moment,

Ok,

So our God is so good and orchestrates our life and every detail so much, that He knew on July 14th, I would need this reminder! As I prepare for a new journey, a brand new step in life as a first year teacher as a special ed teacher and not a clue as to where or who I will live with! I am terrified, honestly scared out of my whits!!! 

But I am taken back to the truth of the Lord that we must have faith, He is going to carry me and provided for every need as I take it moment by moment!

Its ok to be scared! But I am called to trust, to trust fully and completely! 

He is ABLE I am confident!!! I am thankful!

Satan has no way, I will not give him room or time to influence!!!

I am victorious in Christ! I will not allow fear to overtake or hinder what God is doing or what He is about to do!!

This is my Praise song right NOW!!!!

Hallelujah! 

You have won the victory.

Hallelujah! 

You have won it all for me.

Death could not hold you down

You are the risen king

Seated in Majesty

You are the risen king

 I am so thankful!!! He has indeed won the victory and He is my King!!!!

Our Mess is Our Greatest Message

Our Mess is Our Greatest Message, hmmm... What does that mean? And why does that resonate with me soo much?
Well honestly! I feel such a mess sometimes.... I feel discouraged and wonder... How can God use someone like me, who struggles with so much!! With the FEARS of being alone, the unknown, of messing up, not getting it! Someone who can be very dependent on others at times, one who just feels soooo broken at times!!!! 
Doubt run through my head so much of the time... How am I gonna do this, have I made the right choice? 

Soooooo,
After a harder day or more like few days... I was sooo encouraged and challenged by a podcast I heard from Priscilla Shrier, that Reminded me that  I need to clean my nets... I need to just stop for a few moments,
Refocus, get my bearings, refresh!!!
I also am So thankful for those who The Lord has placed in my life to help me clean my nets!! We have not been called to live this life alone, but he has given me sisters in the faith that love him soo sooo much!! And boy, I just get goose bumps that the Lord would give me a kinder spirit that loves Jesus as much as I do and wants nothing in this life more than to please and completely live her life for Jesus!!! 
I was reminded that my Jesus sees every detail of my life...  Not one tear goes unnoticed!!! And He wants to invade each and every part of our lives!! Our mess can be our greatest Message for Jesus! 
So sometimes when I feel such a mess and doubtful!!! 
I am so thankful to have the examples and stories in the Bible of those who also were a mess!!! Those who decided to dive into the deep waters when it made no sense!!!But you know what else??? There is not 1 story, not even 3 or 4 but sooo many accounts!!
Where soo many had to step out in faith to the crazy call of trust to say Yes when it made no sense!!
Noah  built an ark when there was no rain!
Moses stretching his rod out over a body of water
Sara shopping For maternity clothes at a super old age! 
Ester going in against protocol to go in and speak to the King!
Wise men, following a big star
Peter stepped out on water 
Teen Mary getting prego, saying an angel did it!
Jesus hanging on a cross!
Soooo these people did crazy things  and said yes even when It didn't make sense!
But you know what?
It did rain!
The Red Sea did part!
Sara did give birth!
Easter did save her people out of great harm!
The wise men did find baby Jesus!
Peter walked on water!
Mary gave birth to the Messiah!
Jesus died and rose again and saved the World!
God asks us to dive into the deep water... Where we can't touch... He wants us to have the courage to say Yes!!! Even when it does not make sense!!!
So I like these Bible Heroes I am a mess, what God asks me to do sometimes does not make sense! It is scary! But I am not the First! And I will not be the last!!! But Just as He used their mess for His divine purpose and Message! He can use mine too!! 

I have been given:
A promise! 
I am in the process! And have seen Gods faithfulness time and time again!! 
I have been given examples!
I have others to journey with!! 
But most of all!!! I have my Jesus, who sees and is with me through every detail!! I must simply trust and allow Him to invade every space of my life!!
I am in the process! And have seen Gods faithfulness time and time again!! 
I have been given examples!
I have others to journey with!! 

But most of all!!! I have my Jesus, who sees and is with me through every detail!! I must simply trust and allow Him to invade every space of my life!!

Yes Lord

I have been called and have said yes! As of June mid June... i have said yes to the calling to be an Intervention Specialist in Marion, Ohio! Is this is a scary leap... Why yes! Way more scary than I thought it may be?
I thought my calling was to go else where... to travel... to go to a different country or at lest another state...
But, I have asked and told the Lord, WHEREVER you send me Lord! I will go!!!
So through much prayer, council and more prayer.... I haven been called to Marion, Ohio!!! I have had moments of doubt and wonder and questioning, why Lord, am I making the right choice? And the Lord reminds me, so gently, I have called you, my plans and ways are perfect! I have never failed you and I never will!! I love you my beloved, allow me to take you by the hand and lead.... you just follow!

So I must just grab on to my Heavenly Father's hand and follow! Through each struggle through doubt, through each uncertainty, knowing His plan and path is perfect!
He know every desire of my heart!! He knows, I want to teach internationally, I want to love the unlovable, I so desire so be a wife and a mother! But I continuously say Lord lead me!!! I say thank you Lord, for giving me a wonderful job as an intervention specialist, that I may gain experience, be mentored as a new teacher, and that I may grow as the teacher that He has called me to be!!!

I say thank you for today, for my first day as a summer beehive teacher, to 13 wonderful kingergarden boys and girls, 9 of which are boys and the kids are 4 and 5 yrs old!  I may have chased  one of my boy with autism down the hall 6 times... and  boy that boy can dart and run so so fast! Most of my plans worked.. others we had to readjust to make them work.. but in the end we all had fun and I think the kiddos learned something! But despite all the hard moments... I was sitting on the floor at the end of the day... playing a game with 8 of the boys and they were asking me questions and all snuggled in really tight.. and even though they were all sweaty... I had an ahh haa momet and was like oh man i love this so much and I couldn't imagine doing anything else!!! So I am so thankful!!!

Do I Go? or Do I Stay?

I awoke with the urge to check my email this morning, like I often do, so at 6am... barley awake, I read this email:
Hi Heather. I hope that you are doing well.  I'd love to hear what you're thinking and praying about...why? I'm sitting in a classroom right now observing a little girl with a significant learning disability.  She requires so much academic support that my staff isn't trained to provide. The staff loves her and does everything in their power to help but she isn't making progress.  I'd really like to have a teacher join us that can invest the time into these children on a daily basis.
Blessings,
Jeff (The principal from the school in Mauritius, Africa)
As soon as I finished reading this email, a burden so heavy was placed upon my heart!
This is my passion!
My Dream
My Calling

• I want to teach children with special needs
• I want to go, to do it in such an nontraditional way
• I have been given a tool box of skills and tools! I want to share!
• I have such a love and passion for the people of Africa!
• I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus
• I have such a heart and love to meet the needs of struggling students
• I believe that to seek to learn is to seek to serve and this right here is a prime example and opportunity to do as so as a kingdom builder of Jesus!

Wonder, doubt, uncertainty seeps in:

• This is a raise your own support job, who is going to support me?
• I have $59,000 in school loans... how will I pay these?
• Where and how would I make money?
• I would be far from home, what if something happens or someone needs me?
• Do I have enough experience or enough to offer?
• Should I pass up another job offer?

But even as I wonder or doubt, I am stopped in my tracks with the very word and truth of God:
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."  2 Timothy 1:7
I have faith that my God can do a marvelous and wonderful work!
If this is what He has called me too, He will provide every cent, every need, He will be my strength, He will help me and provide the resources!

I am called to have faith, to TRUST! He has not failed me once!!!

So as I pray and consider these options, I more than anything want to be lead by the Lord! As I sit before the Lord, asking and praying for His leading and guiding! I can help but to say, Speak Lord your Servant is listening!
My prayer and Hearts desire remains: WHEREVER YOU SEND ME LORD USE ME!

TRUST

TRUST
That is a constant reminder in my life.... Trust.... Always something I must do... A present, past and future verb... It has always been a must and will continue to be as soo!
As I sit on the beach... I am reminded as each wave hits the shore... One right after another, it is a continuous and beautiful rhythm of life!

The rhythm of trust is a continuous process in life... That also can be beautiful if we allow The Lord to continuous lead us step by step!

I am made to wonder if I can sit on the beach taking in all the beauty of the wonderful creation of the day the: sun, waves, sand, rocks, sky.... Can I not also stop and take in the wonder of what it means to trust The Lord... Through each season of life! He has been the most amazing friend, confidant, provider, father, savior, comforter, redeemer and the list could go on and on!  But as I reflect on all that He has done... That had taken lost of trust... He has never failed me once! So as I head into a new season of my life... The search for the right job, the connection with friends and the heart to see my brothers saved... I choose to trust! Just as my God commands the flow of the waves, I want Him to command the waves of my life!

Dreams....

You know how there are things in life that only seem like they could be dreams?
Well I am here to tell you that dreams do come true!!
I have never been one to have a certain expectation to be at a certain point in my life by a certain age.. I just say... Hey God is in control and what comes... Comes :) But I defiantly have dreams... I have that list of wishes or maybe more like prayers!
I think everyone dreams of going to Disney Word, or having a big beautiful home, or even taking a fun exciting vacation!!

I even have a list of dreams that have or I am waiting to come true:
1. To live a life set a part for The Lord where others can see my Jesus in me and want a personal relationship with Jesus too :)
2. Teach in another country! Teach special education internationally! That is my dream job!!
3. Live with my best friend
4. Work with my friends as coworkers
5. Go on missions trips... Change the World with the love of Christ (I really want to go on a missions trip with Tish and serve a long side her!)
6. Live financially responsible and on a budget and become debt free
7. Take a long road trips and make lots of memories!
8. Travel
9. Marry an amazing man who is a spiritual warrior!!
10. Have a beautiful rainbow family by adopting!
11. Heal... I mean be completely healed from the relationships that have left me hurt and wounded... I just want to let go!
12 That I may remain close to the friends that the Lord places in my life
13. That I  may continually be led by the Lord and trust in Him!


Now these are dreams or hopes or aspirations, or whatever you would like to call them, they all have the heart to please and live for the Lord behind them,
But when I really get down to it............
Really, alls that I simply want or dream of is:
That I may live a life that Christ and His love are so strongly reflected in the Life Jesus has given me in Him, I want all whom I meet and encounter everyday.... to know Jesus.... if that be for the first time or simply a reminder, I do not want it to be anything that I do, but simply and all Jesus!
I want my brothers and Tish's sister and all my other family members to know Jesus...  that they may know the freedom of living free in Christ! That they may be set free from the bondage of sin and generational life styles and sins!
Now.... we know that dreams take work, just like if we want to go to Disney world, we have to save all our coins in a big jar for years or if we dream of a big house we have to work hard at our jobs and manage our money correctly.
Well just as our dreams of fun and pleasure take work, I also believe that our dreams of living a life set a part in Christ and desires of seeing our loved ones in relationship with Jesus... also takes work!!
I would say that is what Jesus is teaching me right now, that I must continually be at work and allowing Him to be at work in me as I read, study and memorize His world and as I pray and talk to Him about my loved ones who need Him! I must remain open to Jesus and His working!
So as I dream of oh so many things, my prayer and Heart remain that I may keep my eyes upon Him!