Beautiful Mexico

Oh Mexico! How I have fallen in love with you... And even more soooo, falling more in love with the God who has created your land, as I see the beauty in your people, as I see the beauty in your attitudes and smiles, I am touched, challenged and my heart and main focus in the week that I had the privilege and honor in serving in Mexico was Romans 10:1.... And still today it's a verse that continues to be upon my mind as I reflect back over my week in Mexico: “Brethren, my heart's desire and my prayer to God for them is for their salvation.” 
Romans 10:1  I pray Mexico that as a revival is upon your land that you would seek Jesus with your whole heart, so that precious little ladies and gentlemen just like this is señorita can grow up to know a Jesus that loves them and paid it all for them! ❤️💜💚💛

As this is the simplicity and the whole purpose of our lives of our calling to be His disciples! I could stop there, but let me take a little time to go a little in depth into what I have been reflecting on in the last week since being home from Mexico for a whole week now! It was incredible!

  I could not have asked for a better team! Getting to meet Jon & Paula the newly married couple who choose to serve in place of a honeymoon touched my heart beyond belief, the sacrifice of being the hands and feet of Jesus with such love & gentleness and such giving and caring people I am so thankful I got to grow with them on the trip! Then there was our young one of the group, young but so mighty in The Lord! 17  but so ready to grow in The Lord! Her deepest desire to grow and hear from The Lord encouraged my heart like crazy, that faith no matter How tiny or How young, can be mightily used by The Lord to grow and encourage the kingdom of God! 



And last but not lest, the honor of serving in Mexico with my best friend or better yet my sista!! I had heard from Tish all about Mexico, her stories, her cards, her pictures... I was blessed with a taste of Mexico, it was right there... But I couldn't quite touch it! But for such a time as this, The Lord allowed it to be so that two sister that so desperately love Jesus, people, missions, travel, the Latin American culture to come together and serve one people together! It truly was the highlight of my year, I loved it more than words can say, it was an honor to see it, I feel it, to worship together & to see my sister grow in the passion that Jesus has places within her!! Tish was called by The Lord to be our team leader, and that she did with the strength of Jesus, she sacrificed, she loved, she was vulnerable, willing to be stretched & used even in her placement being changed, she was flexible! She demonstrated Christ in her obedience & fearlessness, she had knowledge about Mexico, but even more so, she had a love for Mexico that rubbed off on all of us like butter :) I didn't really realize it till we were home from the trip, but that love forJesus & Mexico she had made such a huge difference that, The Lord used it in such an amazing way that it made us 4 so much more comfortable with Mexico and as a result allowed us to get down to business and serve with a greater capacity, so thank you sis for being used of The Lord to serve our whole group, but in particular for your presence & patience was incredibly a blessing, love that for such a time as this we were sooo blessed to be in the same place doing what we love best together!!! Serving Jesus!!


I had the honor of getting to paint the nails if many little girls and ladies and although hrs language barrier was tough at times, it was incredible what a smile could do and represent, a smile that came from Jesus that comes from the middle of your heart, straight to the lady or girl whose Hand I was rubbing lotion on, or the giggles that came from the struggle of getting glitter nail polish off the ladies nails! What was sooo neat and so God about these precious moments was it wasn't me, it was all Jesus!!  Until these moments, I don't think I really truly understood what it meant To be a vessel of Christ, I literally thinking back on it, truly feel like the vessel holding the water, the water being Jesus! I am so thankful for this beautiful visual & even more thankful that Jesus allowed me to be used of Him and taught me so much and allowed there to be so much joy in the process!

We surly serve an amazing Savior!! I would love to go back to Mexico next summer! But The Lord knows! So His will! I shall be listening! Excited for the time He shall call me back! Until then, I shall serve The Lord faithfully day by day in His will & strength!! And just as Paul    Simply and most importantly put it: salvation is the priority!!!!

I Am Yours

I am yours! Yes that's right! That's the truth! I do belong to Christ!! I was going to name today's blog, "Tears" yes tears, because for a large portion of my long 3 hour drive home tonight.... That is what I did, I shed a lot of tears! Tears for a tough ending to a day, because no matter what I do in the teaching realm... It never quite feels good enough, although I thought things were going so much better this summer for summer school in comparison to the school year, so with a lot of organization in place & a plan I felt pretty good about & a smooth 2 weeks with the kids proving to be productive... And successful.... It still wasn't good enough, I was still picked a part and told to do things differently.... Wow! That broke my heart! It's tough having a classroom where you really don't have the opportunity to be the teacher & have the say so! Don't get me wrong, I totally love feedback & want to give the kids the best, but my heart longs to be a teacher.... To have a say so and be allowed to do what I have been trained to do, be allowed to be a teacher, so I am grieving for the loss of what feels like the loss of opportunity to be the teacher, I always dreamed to be! 
My heart & mind also thought a lot about my family, which brought on more tears... Tears for the Loss of Jesus in our home, I grieve for my family! That they do not want anything to do with Jesus, that a home that once had Jesus, has now shoved Him out the back door, oh my heart longs that they may know Jesus, that they would be able to live in His freedom & peace... I also thought, "I don't really know How to live in a home where Jesus isn't the center..... Do I even have a friend to ask what it's like, what do I do?" So many questions!
    So those tears where shed, questions where asked & thought about.... What felt so lonely at first in those moments,   But NO! Satan those are lies straight from the pit of Hell! I am so not alone! So together, my Savior, my Jesus, my very best friend... We cried together, we talked it through, we prayed it out & we worshipped!! 
Don't always understand what is going in, might not always agree with it or even love it.... But even despite the Circumstances and the external.... I have a Jesus that is my truth & security & we will continue to work through this together!!! 
I have faith & believe that in Gods way & timing  I will have a job that I love and my family will love Jesus & His truth! 

But no matter what, I will continue to proclaim:
 Here I am before You, falling in love and seeking Your truth

Knowing that Your perfect grace has brought me to this place

Because of You I freely live, my life to You, oh God, I give

So I stand before You, God

I lift my voice cause You set me free

So I shout out Your name, from the rooftops I proclaim

That I am Yours, I am Yours

All the good You've done for me, I lift up my hands for all to see

You're the only one who brings me to my knees

To share this love across the earth, the beauty of Your holy worth

So I kneel before You, God

I lift my hands cause You set me free

So I shout out Your name, from the rooftops I proclaim

That I am Yours, I am Yours

All that I am, I place into Your loving hands

And I am Yours, I am Yours

Here I am, I stand, with arms wide open

To the One, the Son, the Everlasting God

How Can This Be?

How can this be? I have completed my first full year of teaching?!?
I would say yes! It was a miracle! Nothing short of Gods miraculous hands a part of each detail and day! Nothing short of a dependent heart, soul, mind & body upon my Savior! It was a tough year! The kids were a tough audience for sure, their behaviors very tough at times to manage... With the biting, hitting, kicking & swearing... It proved to be a challenging and scaring year both figuratively & literally, I have the battle wounds to prove it, just ask! So yes the kids were tough, but at times the staff was harder.... But honestly our last month of school was the best, God eliminated the "problem staff" member & there was peace like never before... Despite being way understaffed, everyone worked so hard, and like champions, we finished off the school year strong!!
So like I said, super tough school year!  But I am so thankful for your honestly and truth from way back in October! When you told me it would be a tough school year, but you told me... You would be right there! And that my Savior was! So yes I felt so defeated at times, but so thankfully I can say I never did give up, because Christ was my strength and shield! So all glory and thanks to Him I made it through my first fully year of teaching and have that under my belt! I learned so much and grew so much! 
So as the year came to a close... There also came the opportunity to sign for a second heat as the Intervention Specialist for the Marion Step by Step classroom! I so desperately wanted to say no! But as I sought The Lord, he made it so clear that I was to stay! I may not understand or completely see why! But I am so thankful He knows why? We shall see? It may be to share Jesus with one of my coworkers Jenn who is becoming one of my friends and seeking truth, it may be simpley be to continue to love the unlovable! It may be to grow even more as a newer teacher! It may be all of the above! But whatever it is! I still say wherever you send me Lord use me!! For this is the cry of my heart! Never let me forget!


Also use me in the moments when you have me at home with my family, even through the pain and bitterness and ungodliness that is so present you could cut it with a knife! I know I have been called to intercede on behalf of my family! So that is what I shall do! For I love my family! So there is nothing I want more than to see my dad set free from the bondage of anger, bitterness, expectation, money & greed, for my mom to just be happy and not worried and for my brothers to know Jesus and His truth and oh for my parents marraige to be restored and healed! I know that I serve a God that is able so once again I choose to step out in faith and believe it to be so! He is able!

I am so thankful for:
   *a love for my Savior
   *a best friend who loves her savior more than anything else, for all her prayers, love & support
   * a teaching job
   * health 
   *forgiveness 
   * room to grow
   *freedom to worship
   * a great safe car
   * memories (big & small) oh and pictures to remind me of the memories :)
   * a love for reading 
   * healing 
   *relationships
   * opportunities to share Jesus
   * opportunist to trust & grow my faith
   * that I will have the opportunity to go to Mexico soon!
   * summer 

Thanks you Jesus for so much!

Defeated

Honest moments!!! Today I feel defeated!! Really this week I feel sooooo defeated!! I want to give up, I want to just go in a corner and cry!!
School.... My staff.... It's been a tough week... A tough school year!! I know these are lies straight from the enemy and I call them out as sooo!!!
I choose despite How I may feel to claim the victory in Christ!! I choose to cling to Christ!! To know this crazy school year has been for my growth in Jesus! I will not doubt Gods plan for my life!! I know He knows what He is doing... That He is going me & changing me... Even if I don't see it or see  the purpose I am reminded that we place our hope not on what is seen, but what is unseen... Just has Abraham had to trust even at the age of 100 that God would give him a son... And Peter had to trust Jesus to walk on water!! Yes these men made mistakes even with Gods promises before them... Yet God still showed mercy and grace  & he used theses men despite their mess ups... To change the world with the Love of Christ!!
ThereforevI choose to be a kingdom builder... Despite How I may feel... I choose to trust & claim the victory in Jesus name!!

Reflection!!! 15 months later.....

Tonight as I went back and read over my blog and journey through Thailand, the before, during and after I was left amazed at the faithfulness of God, through His provision to provide every penny and every ounce of peace!!! Although I have been home from Thailand for 15 Months and still sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, so much as happened!!!  I can see how the pieces of my Thailand Journey have become an intricate and essential part of my journey today as a first year teacher!!! Did I ever think I would be teaching in OHIO today in March of 2015.... umm no!! Not at all actually!!! I don't always love that I am still here in Ohio, I thought for sure I would be anywhere else, but you know what? Those were Heathers plans, Heathers thoughts!!! But you know what!!! I am so glad that I live in Jesus plans, that He has given me the strength to be obedient to Him and to live in His will and His way!!!

Because of Him I have had the opportunity to grow so incredibly much as a first year teacher!!!! But in this first year as a first year teacher I have had the wonderful privilege from the company that I work for to receive tremendous support!!! I have successfully completed 3 IEP meetings and close to 50 parent meetings!!! Because the Lord has kept me in Ohio for this year, I have gotten to hug and be present with my mom when my grandma unexpectedly passed away in September, I have gained a whole new family through Melody and Amber who have allowed me to live in their home and become a part of their family, I have gained two wonderful spiritual grandmas (I love you Grandma Morris and Grandma Connie) who have spoken wisdom, love and life into my life through their council and wisdom I have learned so much more about Jesus, I have gotten to have some amazing weekends with my best friend who is doing a fantastic job as a nursing student at MVNU we have had so many wonderful moments that are treasures straight from heaven and oh how they are precious the prayers we pray together, the conversations we have, every hug and every conversation (Tish you are a blessing straight from Heaven), I have gotten to be present with Grandma Morris and Tish as Grandpa lived His final days here on this side of Heaven (I even got to share some precious moments of our own as I got to read scripture to him for a few hours and I saw my first angle by His bedside as we sang hymns with him) and then after he entered into Heaven I got to learn even more about his legacy of His love and obedience to Christ, I have gotten to see and have a sleepover with Emily in her first apartment of her own, I have gotten to be present with Hannah and share in the exciting and special moments of her life this year, I have gotten to kiss my little doggie so much when I visit my family, I have gotten to travel to many different churches depending on where the Lord had me on a given weekend, I have been so blessed with a beautiful safe vehicle, I am learning so much about Jesus and still growing in my TRUST!! These are all the little and big reasons I can see today why Jesus has me still in OHIO... I am His vessel ready and willing to go where ever HE sends me!!! IF that be OHIO, BELIZE,THAILAND, MEXICO or wherever!!! I am HIS and if I listen and seek HIM he will direct me!!! He knows the desires of my heart, my dreams to teach internationally, to help teachers in other countries and to even begin special ed classrooms that do not even exits yet! He knows I want to be a wife and mother!!!  He knows I want to continue to be the best friend, sister and daughter  he has called me to be!! But I am so thankful with my Savior knowing the desires of my heart He is giving me the tools and equipping me with the skills and tools that I will need to make these dreams a reality!!So with every desire and dream I commit to living a life before my Savior in prayer, believing, interceding and loving with FAITH and TRUST!!!!

Living Life to It's Fullest

It has been a while since I have blogged! So I thought it was about time! Nothing tremendous or huge has happened!But the Lord has absolutely been at work within my heart and life! Teaching me and growing me!!!
I can not imagine a life a part from Jesus He is my everything: The reason I smile, the reason I am who I am! I absolutely love living my life with Jesus!!! I have grown so much in love with Him and only wish to continue to do as so!!!!  But a big question that has been on my mind lately through many situations and stories I have encountered is: HOW DOES MY LOVE I HAVE FOR JESUS AND THE LOVE HE HAS DEMONSTRATED TO ME.... POUR OUT IN MY LIFE, HOW IS IT IMPACTING AND ENCOURAGING OTHERS?
I have had the opportunity to journey along in two blogs lately...... one from the perspective of a beautiful woman in her battle with cancer to the end and another ladies story as she has lost her husband..... both ladies so in love with the Lord and the legacy they left and will leave is amazing, I am truly blown away, I am left at times saying, this isnt fair, that these lives have to end so early, but my golly what an imprint of Christ they have left!!! I am encouraged and I am challenged, I am done feeling sorry for my self, sad or whatever, I have a job!!! I want to love like I have never loved before!!! I want to be done worrying about what others think about me!!!! I want to love the precious people the Lord has placed in my life, my  family, my friends!!! I do not want bitterness to have any root!!! I choose to forgive what the devil continues to bring up from my past to forgive those family member to forgive those friends to forgive my self!! I do not have to live in my past but to celebrate and live in the gift of today!!! I want to love every single person I meet and I already know with the love of Christ!!! I want to love my co-workers and my students!!!! I want to be the hands and feet of Christ if that be the missions trip to Mexico this summer the good or bad days in my classroom, in my home in Jefferson or my home in Marion or my other home in Mount Vernon, if that be through laughs in the car with my friend, or deep conversations over coffee or the lady at the super market or the mechanic at the auto place or the gentlemen making my coffee at Starbucks!!!! I want to love with such a deep love of Jesus to exemplify Christ in my everyday life in the joys and sorrows!!!!

Today I am leaving behind my bitterness and I am living in Christ's grace and love and I am going to share that!!!
I am sure I will mess up I will fail but oh my golly I have such an amazing Savior to be my strength!! I am committed to growing  in this!!! But I never want to be the same!! I have been given another day and so I want to live it out to the fullest LOVING WELL!!!!

How?

Do you ever just have to sit and ask How?

How did the Lord bring me to where I am at now?

How is it that my Savior is so patient with me?

How can God be working amongst my situation? 

How come we have to loose people in our lives, both physically thru death or just the end of a relationship?

How come hate exist in our world?

How come people choose not to forgive?

How come people choose to walk away from God?

How come we have to hurt?

How can God take the crummiest situations and turn them to the very best?

How will what I am doing, studying, thinking about, reflecting on now effect my future?

The list of Hows could go on  and on!!!!

 

But the one thing I do know and the best way I know how to answer many of these HOWS.... is this: 

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.  If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. " 1 John 3:16-18

God is teaching me so much incredibly about His love and grace in so many realms... it is amazing!!! Although visiting home during Thanksgiving break and Christmas break at times with family.... Gods love transended the hate... the discord... the enemy's work and with the Love Christ has given me for my family... the Lord showed me the importance of interceding for my family! To cry out on their behalf for their salvation, for healing and so much more!!!And that is what I did in the space of my home and now even being 4 hours away that is still what I am doing and thru it... Christ is teaching me a little more about love each day!!!!

I also am learning so much about in my classroom as well!!!Just a few days ago I had a Jesus moment... one of my students who has tramatic brain damage... just retured from Christmas from having hand foot and moth disease... therefore a lot of the sores on his hands were still healing... and when this student eats... he gets food everywhere.... therefore he needs to be wipped off when he is finished... and on this particular day... I was helping him with lunch, and as I was wiping the food off his hands with his healing sores, this unconditional love came over me and it was as if I was wiping the hands of Jesus, It was like Jesus was sitting right next to me and his love filled me!!!

I have also had some some very hard days with students where it was hard to love, but Jesus is teaching me a little more each day and that love is growing more and more as I love them with Christ love!!!! 

And I have to say at times, my staff is the hardest part of the job, there is a lot of conflict and tension in our room but more than anything, I want to love the 7 wonderful ladies the Lord has placed in my classroom that I get to work with.... I know each of them have their own thing that burden their heart, so with the heart and love of Christ I want to press on and love them as much as I can with Christ strength and be His beccon of light that I may so be used by Him!!

As I have had so many opportunities to love, I have also been so love on, more than I could ever ask or imagine! It is beautiful it is wonderful it is the care of the Savior!!!

I am so loved through:

The HUGS  of friends

The kindness of Melody and Amber allowing me to be apart of their family and sharing their come with me!

The time Tish, Melody, Emily and Hannah have spent with me.... just being girls being us!!!

Bible Study of Acts with Tish

Dance practice with Melody and all her patience and help

Getting to journey with Tish that she would allow me to journey so close with her, that she would share her heart and freely let me share mine!

A wonderful Church family that I am getting to know more and more all the time!!!

And most of all a Savior whose love, forgiveness, faithfulness, grace is more than I could ever ask for!!!

So yes I have so many HOWS but Christ covers it all for His plan!!!!

So HOW will I live for Christ and demonstrate HIS LOVE to others today?

Reflections of 2014

2014 described in one word: newfangled... Yes this is a real word! It is defined in the dictionary as: different from what one is use to; objectively new! And full of brand news it was!! January was about the only month that was the same as before :) as I took my last J-Term as a college student... But I also knew I needed a job! I needed somewhere to live and stay! So January ended and February popped right up! And as God sooo faithfully and perfectly does provided a wonderful job as an after school teacher in a new program in Mount Gilead!   So from February to May I had the wonderful opportunity to be a first grade teacher to the sweetest 13 1st grade boys & girls, as their reading and math skills grew and we decorated our classroom with the theme of Rupunzel we had a blast together and I grew as a beginning teacher... It was wonderful and my heart was so in love and content with where The Lord had placed me! Also from February to May I lived with my best friend  which proved to be one of the best and toughest experiences of my life! But I wouldn't trade it for the world! It is every girls dream to live with their best friend! And I truly can say I am beyond thankful for all the memories we created together, that will forever be a treasure in my heart! From our nightly prayer time, to her epic redemption in skipbo to take back the thrown of skipbo champion, to all the dinners we made or frosted flakes me ate, to the cupcakes I spilled on her feet, to all the movies we watched or should I say all the movies we looked for... For hours, to learning How to fish tail braid, to having our own family of mice that wanted to share our living space and food as well, to all the conversations we had and shared as we grew in The Lord as sisters, as kindred spirits as best friends with very different personalities.... Because of it I learned better How to communicate then ever before,  to receiving a wonderful spiritual gift! Oh the list could go on!!!we got to live in our very first apartment, thanks to the blessing of one of our previous bosses to the way others blessed us with useful gifts for our home!! We learned a lot and I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to live with Tish, living on our own.. I def had to grow up a lot and that I did! In those months we also saw The Lord provide for so many finical needs.. All in His timing and way and God blessed us with wonderful summer jobs!! So for the last 2 weeks of June and the month of July our after school program turned into a summer program... That was the most amazing and fun teaching job a girl could ask for! We got to spend Monday thru Thursday with the kiddos, from 9 to 3 learning a lot but lots of hands on outdoor learning opportunities as well complete with all day long Wednesday field trips and to top it all off my 13 kiddos were tiny weenies just 4&5 and as precious as can be! I don't think I have ever enjoyed a summer job more... It was spiracular! Also flash back to may... I had a job interview for a job in Mount Gilead... As an intervention specialist for the 2014/2015 school year! Interview went well! Now flash forward to a week later... Monday June 2nd I get an email from a school in Mauritius Africa... Telling me I have the job as their intervention special if I would like to take it.... Oh my goodness I am over the moon... This is my dream job... The job and place I would love to be!!! The. The very next day I get a call from the the Job I interviewed for the week prior for the intervention specialist in mount Gilead, except it is in Marion... Thinking oh it can't be that far away from mount Gilead... So there I was left with the choice of two very different jobs in two very different places.... Africa or Marion! How was it that I was to decide... Between to stay or too go? I thought... Wouldn't it be so much easier if one place told me no and the other place told me yes? But you know what?? Looking back at it now... I am so thankful and glad that I did have to decide... Because it caused me to seek the voice and direction of The Lord! It caused me to slow down & to really seek  His direction!! For I wanted nothing more than to walk in obedience... And so... After much prayer and council from a very special lady in my life... God made it clear that I was to stay for such a time as this! That I had some more growing and learning to do as a teacher... So August began a whole new venture and season of Life!! I got plugged into a brand new Church that I Love and that I am growing and being challenged in my walk and I Look forward to continually growing in!! God provided the most wonderful place to live... After a summer of turmoil and the worry and wonder of where it was that I was to live... What the enemy meant for harm... The Lord so perfectly orchestrated a home of peace that was so close to school where I would be teaching and some new wonderful friends that would love me with the Love of Christ and allow me to be a part of their family! So began my first month as a first year full time teacher! It was tough... I remember asking God at the very beginning of August..."Why did you ask me to stay?" And He so perfectly and clearly said as the beautiful sun was setting, "Just Wait" so that is what I am doing... Through all the hard and wonderful moments of teaching 9 kiddos with Autism and working with a staff of 7 others adults... It's hard often! But through the growing and stretching of being a 1st year teacher, I am learning daily How to depend on The Lord! How to pray for each of my 9 kiddos and 7 staff members... This is sure different than what I thought I would be doing... But from August to December thus far... It's been full of brand news! The kids are growing in their academics and improving in their behavior... May be slow at times... But every bit forward is a milestone and celebration!! I have learned patience and grace in a whole new light!! We have had wonderful class parties, my very first  picture day as a teacher and my very first teacher badge, have written my first IEP and held my first IEP meeting and first set of patent teacher conferences! So many firsts... But also right alongside a wonderful support system that is above and have been such a wonderful help! I have also had the amazing privilege amongst all the brand news of these past few months to have a familiar and constant, as Tish is only an hour away at college giving us the opportunity to share many of our weekends together between August and December.. So precious treasured moments, moments of journeying together and watching one another grow in our faith leaps and bounds, encouraging and loving on one another, praying and interceding for one another as prayer warriors and sisters in the faith!!
  I also have had the Wonderful opportunity of making a new friend! Melody... Who has allowed now to move in with her and her wonderful mom Amber! Melody has shared her entire upstairs with me! Has made me feel so welcomed and loved!! I treasure our Wednesday night drives to and from Church and our to and from to Bible study trips on Thursdays! I love that we get to share life! It's like having a sister... I love it & I am so thankful!! It is such a blessing to have a friend that loves Jesus sooo much that she radiates Christ and wants His best for those around her! I love that we can talk about life and boys and about all that Christ is doing in our lives, and pray with and for each other!

This year has been amazing ! A year of growth! Lots of brand news!! But a God who is ever so faithful and constant! I am so thankful for such an amazing Savior that has a perfect plan for our lives!!