Decisions..... Lord knows I do like to make them! Not at all! So here I am sorting through so much! So much to process and think through! I am getting ready to say goodbye to my first real teaching job, a job I learned so much at and grew through some pretty tough trials both with students and staff, a job I could not imagine getting through without God's grace! I can say I survived two years of managing adults not my passion by a long shot, there were moments when I never thought I was going to make it! I learned so much about Autism and how amazing kids are and how they could fight any obstacle thrown their way if it be a label or a person's view, I saw kids define the odds and amaze us all! I saw the fruits of our labor, kids counting by 10's and 5's kids writing complete sentences with a capital letter and a period! I saw my kids fight against their inner self and remain seated even when everything in their bodies wanted to to get up or scream! I learned so much from the little people in my classroom, I learned about their unconditional love and while some grew to be my favorites and were the master of daily hugs, I will be forever grateful for each one of them that taught me something! As this chapter ends I am both relieved and saddened!
I am ready for both a new chapter and beginning, but at this present moment I am unsure? I have signed a contract for Accel charter schools, I do not yet know what school I will be at or what grade and that doesn't bother/worry me as much as the unsureness of is this job for me? It was defiantly something I took before the Lord and sought Him on, I did not sense a no, but I also am not sure that I heard a yes? Its a weird place to be, especially since I thought I wanted a different charter school... but Accel said that was not a good school? I also have had two jobs offers for schools in different countries that both do not start until January which would still allow me to be here for Emily's wedding in September, but they are not defiant yeses either! So like I said decisions to make and much to sort through!
So as I spend the next few days seeking the Lords wisdom and clarity I know He will lead and direct me, He is faithful and I trust Him!!
(Romans 11:20) O, Father, I do not want to miss any part of Your plan because of my own unbelief! Please forgive me for any unbelief, and help me walk by faith.
Lord God, teach me knowledge and good judgement, for I believe in your commands. (Ps. 119:66)